Life is always giving us exactly what we need to learn about ourselves in each and every moment. The outside world mirrors to us all the aspects within ourselves that we are not fully acknowledging, are not fully aware of and do not love. To embody your wholeness means that you cannot disregard some parts of you and only accept others. To be and feel whole is to fully accept, love and embrace every aspect. Your relationships and experiences in the world give you the opportunity to do so.
In choosing to have a dualistic experience as a human being, means that our experiences and relationships with the world will vary from pleasant to unpleasant, and from positive to negative. Often we judge situations and relationships that are uncomfortable and not enjoyable, thinking that it’s not what we should be experiencing at that time. We may move into a state of victim-hood and blame, creating more separation between ourselves and the person, group or situation. Instead of taking the necessary lessons required to learn and expand, we often continue to reinforce old beliefs, fears and patterns.
It’s important to remember that the Soul, the essence of who we are, is already perfect, whole and complete. It does not judge you or the experiences you are having. It is neutral. It views each relationship and experience, regardless of how it unfolds, as an opportunity to evolve. The part of you that does decipher which experiences it likes or doesn’t like is the Ego-mind. The Ego-mind is the part of us that becomes, “triggered,” in those moments. Depending on how much fear you live in, how many limiting beliefs you have and hold on to, how self-aware and actualized you are and the state of your consciousness level will often determine how you react, how much you are triggered and how much you grow in your life experiences.
The trick to moving through every experience more effortlessly is to look at everything through the lens of the Soul rather than just the Ego-mind. We may need to remind ourselves often that every relationship and situation we are having gives us a gift to become more consciously aware of the aspects we need to love more deeply, embrace more fully and acknowledge. This is especially true when we recognize and judge traits that are deemed, “unlikeable,” in others. Often those traits are also found somewhere within ourselves. If we can take the gifts and become neutral with every experience and relationship, then we will not have to repeat patterns and cycles as we often do. We can move on to experiencing something new; freeing ourselves from feeling like a victim or blaming the world for our problems and suffering.
Here are some points to consider:
When we are, “triggered,” by someone or something in our lives, these are often our greatest teachers. Simply acknowledging that we are triggered and not immediately moving into a defensive or reactive state will give us the opportunity to acknowledge what it was that really triggered us, dig deeper into understanding why it triggered a response, be honest with how it makes us feel, reflect on when we have felt this way before and where that quality or trait resides within us. Diving into this will allow us to take the lessons and grow quickly from the situation.
We may not fully be able to admit or understand why we are triggered right away. The immediate response from the Ego-mind is that we don’t hold that trait or quality within. Often when we face this circumstance, we are in denial. When we sit long enough in reflection and are honest with ourselves, we will see that the quality, trait or aspect does reside within, even if it is just a small portion of our being.
Every quality, trait and aspect that we love or don’t love has a gift for us. If we can get to know those parts of ourselves we will learn that somewhere and somehow it has assisted us on our paths throughout life and that we would not be who we are today if it wasn’t there.
Eventually we will not be as triggered by people or situations when we do this work within ourselves frequently. Not only will we be able to fully be ourselves; we will allow other people to fully be themselves with little to no judgment. We will flow and dance with life and understand that everything is happening for a reason, assisting us to love others and ourselves fully and completely.
Vanessa Petronelli B.A., W.W.H.P. & Certified Yoga and Mindfulness Teacher